Real, authentic Finnish menus from restaurants:

• Shrimp and crap salad for two
• You can have crap on your pizza
• Tepid chicken salad with bread
• We give you water only when you ask

(Café Rico, Turku 1997)

• Dead snails from Åland in garlic and butter sauce
• The cock is recommending today's beef
• We can serve your steak with much blood, some blood, medium or well-done.

(Ramada Hotel, Turku 1999)

• The house's tart is called Torttu in Finnish and is warm.
• Ice cream with warm bear halves and toffee sauce
• Finnish mushroom salad - wild, salty and sticky mushrooms with cream sauce and pickles

(Fransmanni, Turku 1993)

• Mexican burrito with mutilated chicken meat and salsa

(Raxx, Turku 1998)

• Try traditional Finnish pee soup
• We can bring the nuts and drinks to your room (room service card)
• Drink something if you want (room service card)
• On our breakfast table you will find the cheese, the meat and some others
• Omelet is made with recent eggs from a local farm where the chickens are alive

(Hotelli Helka, Helsinki 1993)

• This week is "bird meat week" but we also have a good selection of mammal meat.
• Japanese guests can have traditional breakfast with stinky rice and fishes
• Cocktails are served in bar and there only. You must drink cocktails there only.
• Blini served with cream and not real caviar

(Hamburger Börs, Turku 1997)

• Tar ice cream - Finnish special. Good for people who eat tar and lingon berries

.(Viking Restaurant Harald, Turku 1998)
 

• Children's hamburger is served with the French
• Pizzas after clock 21 are not. Sorry.

(Memphis, Helsinki 1994)